Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
