I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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