So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
