If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
