If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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