Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize