i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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