are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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