Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
how do you play pong handcuffed?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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