Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
