totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Mom said you looked used
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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