why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
