Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
