Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
