You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Can I color on your dick again?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
