you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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