we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
