pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
