Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
