was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
