so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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