I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
