He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
