Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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