i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
