So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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