therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
