found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
