Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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