I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
