Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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