I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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