Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
