i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize