well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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