I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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