I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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