I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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