I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
whose parrot is this?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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