i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
