i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
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No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
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