No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
