I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
