After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
