Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
