i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
