Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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