Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
