Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize