You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
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Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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