So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
