Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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