I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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