"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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