looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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