Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
