My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
