i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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