Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself

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(212): View more from New York

what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed

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(516): View more from New York

I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.

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(281): View more from Texas

Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.

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(907): View more from Alaska

You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.

(1-907): View more from Alaska

That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?

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(218): View more from Minnesota

You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done

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