well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
