That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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