K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
