Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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