i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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