Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
