Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
