I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize