Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
