I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
