I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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