I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
