dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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