so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
