We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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