new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
